Another fashion week, another set of life (or fashion lessons) we learnt.  

1. Balenciaga is the shoe du jour – surpassing Gucci as the most worn shoe for the well-heeled folk. The knife-point boot / pump made so many appearances front row, mid-row, standing room only, the distinction between wearer and boot became ambiguous. Emma Van Handel’s thigh-high Barbie pink rendition took the frosted sartorial cake, whilst nana’s floral wallpaper planted itself on many a toe – much to the glee / shock horror of many a showgoer.
2. Don’t sneak under velvet ropes. You will get yelled at by gnarly security guards who are much brawnier than you.
3. Don’t take your champagne flutes outside, despite how thirsty you may be. You will get yelled at by confused volunteers unsure of their job description but equally scared by brawny security guards.
4. Don’t take photos of the garb pre-show. You will get yelled at by fussy PR’s who are the same size as you, but much shrewder.
5. Do take photos of Jordan Barrett. They make for great iPhone wallpaper and excellent conversation starters.
6. Don’t take photos of ‘celebs’ when your phone is on loud.
7. Always set your phone to silent, particularly when trying to snap ‘celebs’ for WhatsApp fodder.
8. Don’t eat the model food clearly marked “Catering For Models Only”. They do eat, you know.
9. Do say hi to people you don’t know / comment on their outfit / remark on your fatigue / make jokes about not eating – fake it until you make it, baby.
10. Laugh your way through the mayhem, the tragedy and the hustle. All you want is a free wine(s) and a snap for Insta, after all.

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