Wait it’s legit National Snake Day?!?!?They have holidays for everybody, I mean everything these days! ?????????????????????????????????????
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) July 17, 2016
Now that the receipts have been read and the tea well and truly spilled, celebrities – those towering deities to whom we turn in times of great tumult – have begun to weigh in on what will undoubtedly come to be viewed as the Watergate of our generation: the exposure of Taylor Swift as a liar, a scammer and a fraud.
It is, put simply, time to pick sides.
Though the sun has set and chaos now reigns across a country torn asunder, we can take solace in the fact that certain early adopters have already begun to choose sides in the greatest pop culture feud of all time, creating a path in which we can follow.
In Swift’s corner (one ordinarily populated with obscenely wealthy blondes) only Selena Gomez has stepped forward with a vague message of something kind of resembling ‘squad’ solidarity, I guess?
“There are more important things to talk about,” writes noted brunette Selena Gomez, who has so far remained very silent on anything to do with “more important things”, like #BlackLivesMatter, or events of any kind besides the Revival World Tour. “Why can’t people use their voice for something that fucking matters? Truth is last thing we need right now is hate, in any form.” Okay, Selena.
Truth is last thing we need right now is hate, in any form
— Selena Gomez (@selenagomez) July 18, 2016
Chloë Grace Moretz, who has a history of proffering unwanted opinions about Kim Kardashian before being savagely silenced, has also chimed in. “Everyone in this industry needs to get their heads out of a hole and look around to realize what’s ACTUALLY happening in the REAL world”, writes Moretz, who mostly tweets about music and Brooklyn Beckham. “Stop wasting your voice on something so petulant and unimportant.” RT forever:
let’s all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. your nylon cover is cute boo
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
Conversely, it’s of very little surprise that Kendall Jenner – a Scorpio who shares many mutual friends with Swift including Gigi Hadid, Cara Delevingne and probably Karlie Kloss – has sided with her half-sister, as evinced in her retweeting Kim’s masterful tweet foreshadowing the great Snapchat assault of 2016. Only Kylie has remained mum on the subject.
Kendall has since un-retweeted the tweet, but I took a screenshot – savage, Kendall.
She has instead chosen to discretely ‘Like’ Kim’s tweet, Khloé’s tweet about Kim being “a savage!”, Hailey Baldwin’s eloquent tweet and one about Kardashian-Jenner solidarity.
Hailey Baldwin, another resident of California, issued a more subtle statement of support with three handclap emojis – a surefire sign that Baldwin knows where her allegiances and any hope at prolonged relevance lie.
— Hailey Baldwin (@haileybaldwin) July 18, 2016
Demi Lovato, Zendaya, someone from Fifth Harmony with whom I’m not acquainted (Dinah Jane) and Pharrell Williams have all opted for more subtle methods than Baldwin: all have ‘Liked’ tweets conveying solidarity with Kamp Kardashian. Pharrell in particular ‘Liked’ a #KimExposedTaylor video of Tiffany Pollard, FKA ‘New York’, saying (presumably of someone else) “She’s a disgrace to women, she’s a disgrace to humanity.”
It’s now to America’s independent musicians to whom we turn for guidance – a cohort who’ve long been vocal in their disdain for Swift’s deft media manipulation.
Grizzly Bear frontman Ed Droste was driven off Twitter last year by Swift’s rabid fanbase when he took a very vocal stance against the “monster”, who “treated [him] like shit for no reason on three occasions” after he “refused to be censored and bullied by PRteams [sic] and people desperate for approval”. Earlier this afternoon, Grizzly Bear tweeted, “It’s x-mas in July”.
Merry Christmas, Ed.
Vince Staples also weighed in, describing the moment as a “God’s dream“, which is a verbatim quote from the opening track (Ultralight Beam) from Kanye West’s The Life of Pablo. Similarly, Best Coast’s Bethany Cosentino has been a vocal contributor to the #KimExposedTaylorParty, reposting this bizarre video of Swift “on her way to sue everyone”.
— ️️ (@fentylit) July 18, 2016
Waaves have also come to the party, arriving guns blazing on National Snake Day (of all days!).
i always said taylor was a ?
— WAVVES (@wavves) July 18, 2016
But perhaps the most masterfully petty response has come from none other than Katy Perry, who used her first shady public statement of the day to promote her new single under the guise of “[Rising] above it all”.
‘It all’ being ‘the drama’.
— KATY PERRY (@katyperry) July 18, 2016
Tile image: Stephane Cardinale/Corbis via Getty Images