New York Fashion Week – that sartorially-charged, vivacious, all-encompassing beast – roared to its spectacular close last week, and nothing quantifies #nyfw more than the often crude and lewd utterances of the style set whom attend it. Sweet nothings for some, for us, the hilarity and downright profanity that escape the puffed-up pouts of sulky show-goers truly defines the most fashionable week on the sartorial calendar.

Here, in fashion parlance, a glimpse at the real New York Fashion Week.

Eloquence at its very best.

outside Spring Studios, between unnamed bloggers
“Sorry, did my Chanel get in the way of your hot chips?”

outside a show, a makeup artist to an unwanted suitor
“You can take your square-toed Diesel trainers back up the f*cking road.”

backstage, between beauty editors
“No, I don’t use anything but Dior.”

during a show, a now heavier editor who had succumbed to the call of nyc pizza
“Mate, I am going to have to give my boss an invoice for this $2000 Christopher Esber skirt when it breaks.”

during a show, between grudging editors
“OMG, why is she here. I thought she got fired.”

outside a nyfw party, a fabulous attendee to an ogling admirer 
“Unless you’ve got drugs and a helicopter, you can [expletive] off.”

during a show, between editors
“I missed my Dad’s wedding to be here.”
“That’s chic.”

post-show, A famished show-goer dismayed by the lack of catering
“I’m so hungry I could rape a Dunkin’ Donuts.”

at public hotel, an editor admiring a fellow hotel guest armed with dior saddle bag, gucci fur princetown’s and imodium
“He is the chicest gastro sufferer I ever did see.”

during a nyfw party, An editor scoffing an italian canapé
“There is some gorgeous garlic on that though, I literally won’t be able to interview anyone for ten days.”

During a street style shoot, an unnamed blogger talking to herself
“Weird moves. Poses. Where am I? Where are you? Who am I? Over the shoulder. Shapes.”

the last day of fashion week, an editor battling beauty demons
“F*ck me mate, my head has taken a turn for the worst I can tell you that for free.”