Victoria’s Secret 2018
“’twas the night before Christmas and all the through the house, every present was wrapped…and had been for three months. ”
You’re that person. In August, when the toy store had a mega-sale, you bought your niece and nephew their Lego Christmas presents. In September, your mum’s favourite candle brand released a limited-edition range and you snapped one up. In October, you bought the bracelet your sister had been wishing for, with plenty of time to have it perfectly personalised. You ordered a custom embroidery of a family photo which you’ve also had framed and you hunted down a vintage Nirvana t-shirt from a store in Amsterdam and have since had it shipped home and wrapped for your boyfriend.
Sure, you may receive supermarket-brand body wash and a bottle of Prosecco in return, but you don’t care, because, for you, Christmas is all about maximum giving. Perhaps you never relinquished the Santa-years, and you still make gift lists well in advance, after all you’ve been carefully planning presents for your loved ones since January. You have time to pre-order and customise and waitlist. And since you’re such a great planner, you’re also a good saver, so you can afford to splash out on fancy gifts they’d probably never buy for themselves. Those Christmas day surprises-faces are what you live for.
You’re the Leslie Knope of Christmas cheer, the Blair Waldorf of style and the Helen from Bridesmaids of OTT organisation. No one can match you and, quite frankly, you like it that way. In fact, you’re so organised that when the final weeks before the big day approach, you offer to do your brother’s and best friend’s shopping too. As you wander the stores for them mid-December you notice the panic on the faces of your co-shoppers and you have to resist the urge to offer your services to them as well.
You have fairy lights perfectly dappling potted trees outside your front door and your wreath is a custom linen sphere you commissioned a local artisan to create for you. You’ll host Christmas lunch, as you do each year, this year’s theme is stars, so each element will twinkle from every angle. The cut glassware, the silver accents, the marbled white crockery. And of course, there’s the photo booth you’ve set up to perfectly replicate Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas video, complete with karaoke, snow machine and matching outfits for all of your family members.
And then there’s the wrapping. This year, paper, tape and wastage is a no-go. Instead you have collected fabric off-cuts from local ethical fashion companies and will tie them together using the Japanese art of Furoshiki. So not only will they be consciously wrapped, they will also look outstandingly chic. “Smug” doesn’t begin to cover it.
So, what is (or should we say, was) on the gift list for The Planners this year? Take heed, mere shopping mortals, for there is still (some) time to snap these up…
Swarovski ‘louison’ open ring, $219, Swarovski, SHOP NOW
Jasmine & Will Monogrammed Linen robe, $149, SHOP NOW
Loeffler Randall ‘Lorna’ rattan canvas tote, $397, from Net-A-Porter SHOP NOW
Signed copy of Hindsight & All The Things I Can’t See In Front Of Me by Justin Timberlake, US$400, from Premiere Collectibles, SHOP NOW
SpruceCraftCo cross stitch kit, $25, from Etsy, SHOP NOW
Sarah Ellison ‘Icon’ chair, $1495, SHOP NOW
Disrupt Sports design your own surfboard, from $799, SHOP NOW
Flow Hive hybrid ‘Araucaria 3’ frame, $649, SHOP NOW
Swarovski ‘Louison’ hoop pierced earrings, $249, Swarovski, SHOP NOW
GIFS all by GIPHY