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“’twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, no one was around because they were all still shopping.”
Hello and welcome, for you are (probably, but baselessly) 90% of the population. Remember when you watched Bad Moms 2? (Only the first part because you have Netflix attention span problem.) That opening scene when Mila Kunis is trying to survive Christmas shopping with no time, no plan and loads of panic? This is never the Christmas shopper you plan to be but, without fail, this is the Christmas shopper you end up being.
But chin up, it’s time to accept this behaviour as a quirk of your personality rather than a fault. Once you admit it, then you can even reap the benefits. Benefits? Yes, just think, while all those planners and preparers are busy pre-ordering and organising throughout October and November you’ve been able to do anything else! In fact, the craze of the Christmas shopping period is, for you, concentrated into just one quick week. Band-aid-rip-off, shot-of-whiskey, ice-water-dive-in stuff. In, out, done. Your anxiety levels will rise and your shopping list will need to be as flexible as a contortionist but you’ll make it work. You always do.
So, let’s see. It’s December 21 and you’re yet to shop for any of your family and friends. You decide to make the most of the longer shopping hours and hit the shops after work. Already exhausted from a long day you begin your peruse. Your shoes start to hurt a bit so you decide tonight you’ll just get some ideas then come back tomorrow. You buy a cupcake and stress-eat it while looking in to the shiny windows of Christmas retail glory. Sparkles a plenty, you’re confident you’ll find the perfect gifts. Just not tonight.
Lunchtime, December 22. You’ve worn your comfiest trainers and you’re armed with a large shopping tote. Head down, you Super-Mario your way through the crowds. You pop into your sister’s favourite clothing store and see a chic shirt she would love. It’s already on sale! Win! You head to the counter which is 28 people deep. You wait. And that is all the time you have for December 22. Panic rising…
It’s now December 23 and stress rashes are beginning to appear on your skin. You nip out for lunch at 11am so you can hopefully beat some of the hustlers. Dads and boyfriends have started to fill the stores. You notice a beautiful pair of earrings in a jewellery store that your best friend would love. It’s surprisingly affordable. You snap it up and feel that first flutter of gift spirit. You buy your brother-in-law a fragrance and your dad a new wallet from the same department store. At the counter, they’re selling little novelty animals that sing. You buy two. You’re not sure why. As you shuffle back to the office, weighed down by bags, sweating and starving you remember you forgot to get something for your boyfriend. Okay, there’s still tomorrow.
Christmas Eve. The work year has finished, so you frantically dash to your local shopping area. It’s surprisingly calm, quite festive even. You grab a coffee and take in the village atmosphere. You see a beautiful fig tree plant in the window of a homewares store and decide it’s the perfect gift for your…self. Finally, you get your boyfriend some very amazing, very expensive headphones from the local tech store. It’s 6pm by the time you get home. Relieved that you’ve managed to achieve everything just before the clock strikes Christmas, you set down to start wrapping…but your heart sinks as you realise you didn’t buy any wrapping paper or cards. Looks like your stash of brown paper will be getting the personalised Christmas treatment this year. You search for the Christmas craft stamps and some novelty paints to start making the gift cards. Tonight is going to be a long one…
No time? No worries. Here’s a list for the last-minuters among us.
Zara rustic blouse with belt, $69.95, SHOP NOW
Swarovski Milleniumcross pierced earrings, $219, SHOP NOW
Sony WF-SP900 Sports Wireless In-Ear headphones, $499, from JB Hi-fi, SHOP NOW
Jocelyn Petroni day spa voucher, SHOP NOW
Bassike high rise tapered pant, $340, SHOP NOW
Nature’s Colours Ficus Lyrata fiddle leaf fig, $129, SHOP NOW
Nine Perfect Strangers by Liane Moriarty (Pan Macmillan), $22.99, from Dymocks, SHOP NOW
Read Option One: The Planner here and Option Two: The Prepared here
GIFs all courtesy Giphy
